perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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