So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
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