I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Randomize
