Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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