He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
