i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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