I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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