shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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