I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I would fuck him just for his dog
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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