I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
