We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
