Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
