So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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