I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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