I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
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