i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
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