took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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