I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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