Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
