i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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