i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
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