He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
