He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize
