Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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