Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
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