Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
