Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
