Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
