im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
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