i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
