I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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