She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
lets start a swedish sibling band together
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I need moral support for this bender
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
