What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
