Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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