Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
foreskin is a definite game changer
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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