apparently the secret to your success is patron
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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