My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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