what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
