He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
