ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
