so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize