Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
