She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
