But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
