I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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