North Korea, Best Korea!
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
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