You're so nebulous sometimes
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Randomize
