Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
