Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize