some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
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