She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
tell me about the eggs
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
