Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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