your thong is hanging out like whoa
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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