he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
