you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
