We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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