i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
