so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
