take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
i think my cat just said my name.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
